Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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