why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
