I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
