Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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