i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize