I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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