Sponge bath it is.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We're hate flirting, damnit.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize