I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
