ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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