This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
be right there i have to get my cape
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