Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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