I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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