He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
