i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
