Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
