there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
