i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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