Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Everyone says I win the strip club
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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