new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
