erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
