well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
