Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
