Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
