I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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