I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
