I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
