I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
