Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
