TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize