I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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