Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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