It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
