"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
