You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
