wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
