i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How's work?
Spinning.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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