I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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