you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
