I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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