If i could tip my vagina, i would.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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