hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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