She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
