Your tits are I can't wait for
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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