somebody snuck up and got me drunk
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
