I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
