dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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