Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They took my balls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize