You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
