Umm I'm too high to move.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
