I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
