Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
