You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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