I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
