Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
