my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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