She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
