I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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