Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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